Typing Your Way into Debt: HoloType: Treasure Zombie Island is Coming to Ruin Your Keyboard

BREAKING NEWS

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Rogue

The Skeptic

Welcome to the Keyboard Olympics Nobody Asked For

Oh, look. Another announcement that makes me want to stare directly into the sun until my retinas give up. Just when you thought the gaming industry was busy trying to figure out how to put more microtransactions into 70-dollar 'AAAA' titles, BeXide and holo Indie have decided that what the world truly needs is a typing game. Yes, you heard me correctly. In the year of our lord 2024, we are being sold a game where the primary mechanic is the same thing I’m doing right now to complain about it. It’s called HoloType: Treasure Zombie Island, and if the title didn’t already give you a migraine, the premise surely will.

I remember a time when typing games were relegated to the dusty corners of elementary school computer labs. We played Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing because we had to, not because we wanted to spend our Friday nights sweating over our WPM (words per minute) while anime girls cheered us on. But here we are. The Hololive machine is relentless, and now it’s coming for your mechanical switches. If you’ve ever wanted to fend off the undead by correctly spelling 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious' while a virtual idol watches you fail, this is your moment. For the rest of us with a shred of dignity? It’s another Tuesday in the circus.

The 'Exciting' Details (Read: The Marketing Fluff)

So, what exactly are we looking at here? Publisher holo Indie—which is a hilarious name considering Hololive is backed by Cover Corp, a literal multi-million dollar corporate entity—and developer BeXide are bringing this masterpiece to the PC. The game is set on 'Treasure Zombie Island,' which sounds like a name generated by a bot that was fed nothing but 2012 mobile game titles. You’ll be typing out words to defeat zombies. Groundbreaking, I know. I’m sure the writers at The Typing of the Dead are currently looking for their royalty checks in the mail.

The game supposedly features various Hololive talents, because of course it does. Without the VTuber branding, this would be a free Flash game on a site called 'CoolMath4Kids.' But slap a 2D avatar on the side of the screen and suddenly it’s a 'must-play' indie darling. BeXide, the developers behind Fruit Mountain (which was basically Suika Game with a coat of paint), clearly know their audience: people who will buy anything as long as it has a specific anime girl’s face on the icon. It’s a brilliant business model, really. Why innovate when you can just sell digital stickers and a glorified homework simulator?

Rogue’s Reality Check: Typing is Not a Genre, It’s a Chore

Let’s get one thing straight: Don’t pre-order this. In fact, don’t pre-order anything, but especially don't pre-order a game that requires you to have a functioning 'Q' key to survive. We’ve seen this dance before. These 'indie' projects under the holo Indie umbrella are often thinly veiled fan-service vehicles with about as much depth as a puddle in a drought. They rely entirely on the 'parasocial' bond between the streamers and their fans to drive sales, rather than, you know, actual gameplay hooks.

What happens when the novelty of typing 'Zombie' or 'Brains' wears off after fifteen minutes? You’re left with a game that feels like a secretarial certification exam. Is there a deep progression system? Probably not. Is there a gripping narrative about the socio-economic impact of zombies on a treasure island? I highly doubt it. It’s a score-chaser. It’s the kind of game you play for three hours, realize your wrists hurt, and then let it rot in your Steam library next to that copy of Bad Rats you got as a joke gift in 2015.

And let's talk about the 'Zombie' theme. Are we still doing this? Zombies are the 'unflavored tofu' of gaming enemies. They are the ultimate sign of a developer who couldn't think of anything more creative than 'shuffling guy who groans.' Pairing them with typing is the ultimate 'I have a deadline and no ideas' move. It’s safe. It’s boring. It’s the gaming equivalent of a plain ham sandwich on white bread with the crusts cut off.

Conclusion: Keep Your Wallet Closed and Your Hands Off the Keys

In conclusion, HoloType: Treasure Zombie Island is exactly what it looks like: a niche title for a niche audience that will inevitably be overhyped by people who think 'typing' is a competitive sport. If you’re a die-hard Hololive fan who needs to own every single piece of media associated with your 'Oshi,' then nothing I say will stop you. You’re already reaching for your credit card, aren’t you? God help you.

For everyone else, wait for the reviews. Or better yet, wait for it to be 90% off during a Steam Summer Sale when you have five dollars left and a morbid curiosity. There is absolutely no reason to rush into this. Typing is something you do at work so you can afford to buy actual games. Don’t let the industry trick you into paying for the privilege of working overtime at home. Stay cynical, stay critical, and for the love of all that is holy, stop pre-ordering games based on a PNG.

🏆 Gamer Verdict

3.5/10 HYPE

"A glorified typing tutor disguised as a zombie survival game to bait VTuber fans into spending money on chores."

✅ The Good

• Might actually improve your typing speed for your office job.
• Features Hololive talents (if you're into that sort of thing).

❌ The Bad

• It's literally just typing.
• The 'Zombie Island' theme is as original as a rebooted sitcom.

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🌍 Global Quick Take

🇮🇳 Hindi: BeXide ने PC के लिए 'HoloType: Treasure Zombie Island' नामक एक टाइपिंग गेम की घोषणा की है, जो Hololive प्रशंसकों के लिए बनाया गया है।

🇪🇸 Spanish: BeXide ha anunciado HoloType: Treasure Zombie Island, un juego de mecanografía para PC que utiliza la licencia de Hololive.

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Tags: #HoloType #Hololive #BeXide #IndieGames #TypingGames

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